Neighbor Conflicts: The Joy of Apartment Living

Living in apartment complexes where your neighbor is not on the other side of your fence but rather on the other side of your wall, your floor or your ceiling introduces interesting problems you don’t really have to deal with elsewhere.

Laying the right foundation with your neighbors and knowing how to approach them with problems you may have are key to easing some of the stress of living in such close proximity. Here are a few suggestions for handling neighbor conflict.

Know Your Neighbors

Before you ever have a problem with your neighbors, meet them. Introduce yourself and your roommates, learn a little about them and their roommates, get on friendly terms. People are more likely to listen to suggestions if they already like and know you than if you are a stranger. (Click here for an entertaining site that lets people complain about their neighbors. Practical application: it also lists the residences of sexual predators.)

Communicate!

Don’t wait to talk to your neighbors until you are completely fed up with the problem. After the first few times of encountering the problem, head over to your neighbor’s place and let them know, politely, that [insert problem here] is affecting you negatively and ask them if they would mind changing it. Your neighbors may not realize that something is bothering you and, once they know, may be completely willing to work with you. (Click here for a few more specific suggestions on dealing with neighbor conflict.)

Second Attempt

If that doesn’t work, try again. Come up with a few ideas for a compromise, then head over again and—again, politely and calmly—discuss the problem. If they are just completely unreasonable and the tension escalates, you have a few options: hire a mediation company, involve the police or apartment management (if the problem you have violates a city ordinance or apartment complex rule), learn to just live with it, or move. (Think you have it bad? Click here to read stories about horror neighbors.)

Things to Remember

• Be specific in explaining the problem’s effect on you. Certain complaints have become so stereotypical, some people dismiss them without really seeing the situation from your perspective.

• Your neighbors have rights, too. Remember to look at the situation from both perspectives. Here’s a list of suggestions on how to be a better neighbor.

• Avoid having your neighbors complain about you by keeping them updated on what’s going on at your place, so late-night noise, etc., doesn’t come as a surprise to them.

• When you approach your neighbor, be prepared to also listen to what he or she has to say; most people will see the gesture as showing you really do care about having the problem resolved and not simply having it your way.

Written by: Laura R. Aiuto